Motherhood. Poetry. Spring.
...then sometimes I am eight
and we stay up really late, past our bedtimes listening to records in the loft. Time is our kitten and the moonlight is soft...
and it’s finally Spring after a year of masking our faces and staying away from certain places and I am right where eight is.
I am where we get lost on purpose. We hide and then resurface. You are there and I am there and we are both nowhere else.
We dance the ancient Dragon Dance from the Empire of the Sun. It’s the graceful dance. The sacred one. The one we just made up for fun...and you are my best friend.
We watch the vinyl spin. Flip it over and play it again. We spin and spin and spin and spin...until we fall onto the pillow fort we built, drenched in the water that we spilt.
I am soaking it all in.
Because when you’re eight, there is nowhere but the middle. You’re a big girl...and still little.
You don’t need anyone to tell you what to wear.
You can pack your own bag. You can brush your own hair. But you still always want your mama there.
And so for right now, I am right here-right where eight is.
Diwali. Love. Tantra.
My daughter was three years old when I took her to see Kung Fu Panda 3.
Enrapt from start to finish, she was particularly attentive during the great battle scenes between the adorable ninja Panda and his scary nemesis.
As we left the theater, she turned to me and said,
"Mom, I've noticed something...the good always defeats the bad."
Happy New Moon and Diwali!
This has been an auspicious day throughout India—a festival of lights celebrating the radiant triumph of divinity over the darkness of confusion--a sort-of "Good Defeats Bad" Day.
Various Indian mythologies exemplify the power of righteousness over demonic forces like the return of exiled Rāmā and Sīta, the victory of the Goddess Durga over the wicked demon, Mahishasura, and the sacred marriage of Vishnu and Lakshmī.
It's an age-old story: the universe is animated by dueling forces, and we all hope desperately for the virtuous to prevail. The question is who decides who is virtuous? History has made this grand narrative into an "us vs. them" story. When taken literally, it becomes the foundation for division and alienation: whomever is on "our side" is virtuous. On the "other" side is evil.
In his work, Creation of Consciousness, Edward Edinger explains that consciousness is only possible in the presence of an "other." Therefore, all human awareness is dependent upon this dichotomy: self and other, me and you, us and them. But when we project our own shadows onto an outside "other" we set up a never ending war zone.
The teachings of non-dual Tantra assert that all things are individualized aspects of a single, dynamic pulsation of universal LOVE. ...A LOVE that has no need for warfare. ...A LOVE so pervasive, perfect, and powerful that it encompasses everything.
So, I explain to my daughter: "Sometimes it doesn't look like it will, but the good always wins in the end...because LOVE is the biggest, most powerful thing. In fact, LOVE is all there is. When people do bad things it's only because they have forgotten LOVE.
When you remember that you are LOVE, you become as powerful as a superhero ninja."
The new moon is a time of introspection and self-examination.
Tonight provides a sweet opportunity to turn inward and get real with your Self.
Who is your scary nemesis?
Do you project all evil onto an outside "other?"
Can you embrace the dark qualities of fear, anger, and confusion as aspects of your own psyche?
Can you envision a LOVE so vast it extends beyond all opposition?
Mystic LOVE is so pervasive it can actually include your fears, sorrows, and confusion without losing a single iota of its infinite brilliance.
According to Mystic teachings: YOU ARE THAT LOVE...you superhero ninja, you!
Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day from R.R. Shakti, PhD.
What exactly are we celebrating?
Someone who stood up for what is right?
Someone who brought social change?
A Disruptive Leader?
YES! and more.
For me today, MLK represents being able to answer the question "Why?" ...as in, "Why do I do what I do?"
Today I am finally STARTING to feel settled into our new home. We moved the first part of November, then cruised over to Indiana to offer the latest EARTH Module. December brought the busy holiday season. Now, half-way through January, I am looking around and thinking...
Where am I? What am I doing? And most importantly...WHY?
These questions are like a little reboot for the hard-drive.
Because I am tired.
...and realizing the deep, deep sacrifice it takes to do this PhD thing.
It's crazy! I have been in school for so long now, that I don't even remember what it's like to NOT be in school. Really.
Don't get me wrong, I feel grateful—blessed and excited—like Cinderella at the ball—to be working on (what is to me) one of the most valuable topics; to have had access to such brilliant minds—professors who have supported my ideas—and to literally feel mySelf expand deeper, higher and all around, on every level. What a gift!!
But when my 3-year old daughter looks outside at the sunshine and says, "Mom, let's go outside and play!" and I—instead of jumping up and saying, "YES!!"—Instead of grabbing our coats and our snow-shoes and heading straight for the door—I hesitate....
What has to be sacrificed to fit it all in:
A clean home?
A social life?
...Outdoor play with my quickly growing/changing only child?
Because lately it seems like every day, something has to give. Lately it seems like the sacrifice is just too great, and I find myself on a tightrope, juggling all my most precious things.
So this is when I ask myself, WHY AM I DOING THIS, ANYWAY!!?
And then I remember: I HAVE A DREAM!
I believe that we don't HAVE energy, but we ARE energy.
I believe that energy is ultimately LOVE; which means that our true nature is infinite LOVE.
I believe that our yoga is not something we do, but something that we dare to LIVE every single day of our lives
I believe that we each have an authentic and truly amazing dream of reminding each other of our true nature as infinite LOVE.
...and that when we are empowered to remember ourselves and remind each other, the impact on this world is transformational and real.
And I have a dream that if I stand firm in my dream—if I stay the course with honesty, humility and authenticity—you will stand firm in your dream too. Then we learn and grow together in LOVE.
So, I close my eyes and take a breath.
I breathe in.
I breathe out.
I grab my coat, my boots, and hat...and all of Marley's things too.
I step out into the sunshine with my daughter.
I breathe in.
I breathe out, as I walk this high wire, juggling...adjusting and readjusting to keep my balance, one moment at a time.
Every day, something has to give. But for this moment I am infinite, and my most precious thing is LOVE.
...and that is why I do what I do.
What is your dream?
About The Author
R.R. Shakti, PhD
Founding teacher of Inner Power Yoga®, Shakti is a Contemplative Mythologist, ritual facilitator, and writer who presents a Tantrik approach to personal empowerment and social action. Through contemplative story-telling and mind/body practices, she offers a vision of deep peace and radical freedom.
LIFE & STYLE